Can I be real with you? Last week I was so angry. I won’t give the details on what caused me to be angry….but just know that sister Kanayo was vex.
Have you ever been so angry that the events that caused you to be angry play over and over in your head? Or to the extent that you want spin their jaw loool (in the spirit of course), or break something albeit a person or an object? We’ve all been there.
Anger. You feel it, sometimes intensely and sometimes we can brush it off and say to ourselves ‘it’s not that deep boo’. But what do you do when your anger wants to overtake you? How do you deal with anger healthily and biblically? I want to share what helped me in that moment of anger in the hope that it will help you if you find yourself in such a situation.
A voice of reason
A voice of reason comes in two ways – through others and through God (His word and the Holy Spirit in you). When I was angry, I was on the phone to one of my sisters and I told her what was up, her response was so Christ-like that I had to unblock my ears to make sure that I was hearing right…she said, ‘lets pray’ and honestly after she prayed, the peace that I felt was incredible, more than what mere ‘advice’ could give.
Oftentimes we want others to massage our anger, to cheer us on for being angry, after all we don’t see ourselves at fault. But a voice of reason will never encourage anger. I encourage you to check the people around you, especially those that you vent to. Do they drive you to peace and a calm state or do they encourage your angry state? #FriendCheck
Now after I calmed down just a little bit lol, God’s word checked me on so many levels.
May the Lord judge between you and me. And may the Lord avenge the wrongs you have done to me, but my hand will not touch you. – 1 Samuel 24:12
That scripture is about David and Saul. Saul was so jealous of David and his anointing to be King that he wanted him killed. I believe He sent about 3000 men to hunt and kill David. But check David’s response…I absolutely love it. David must have been tempted to take revenge on Saul, but He restrained Himself out of the confidence that He had in God and the respect that He had for God.
This bit stuck out for me, David said, ‘but my hand will not touch you’, meaning, I refuse to retaliate and make you feel lesser. Not only will I restrain myself from physically abusing you, but I extend the scripture to restraining my mouth from cursing you. It’s okay to calmly let people know that they have wronged you, it is NOT okay to join them in their folly by taking revenge or cursing them. ‘I said I will watch my way and keep my tongue from sin; I will put a muzzle on my mouth’ (Psalm 39:1-2). God knows and sees all. He knows those that have wronged you, but He says, ‘My dear Child, let me handle it’. It’s up to God to do what He wants with people that hurt us when we take it to Him, but it is our job to forgive.
Here’s my last point. Is whatever it is really worth getting angry about? There are some things that truly deserve our anger, for example; abuse, murder, insults or rude remarks towards God. But let’s be honest, we get angry over trivial things. Jesus got angry many times but his anger was aimed at ungodliness and hypocrisy. He got angry when people were abusing His Father’s house, the Holy Temple (John 2). Sometimes we have to ask ourselves, ‘would Jesus get angry about this?’. If you believe that He would, then ask Him to guide your response in dealing with it. If your answer is ‘no He won’t’, then ask Him to work on you and change you.
I’d like to share a prayer with you.
Heavenly Father, I thank you for your child. I honour and bless you for your incredible Word that comforts, guides, reassures but also disciplines. Lord, I pray that as we immerse ourselves in scripture, we will become an embodiment of your Word.
On the topic of anger, Jesus you know what it is to be angry, upset and hurt, help us to overcome our anger in the same way that you did, through love and forgiveness. Lord break us, mould us and change us so that we will be more like You.
Help us not to sin in our anger, but to cling onto your word. Connect us with people who will help us ‘stay saved’ even in those tough moments. We love you Lord and we thank you for answering this prayer, in Jesus name. Amen.
— Kanayo Dike-Oduah
