We often project our emotions or absorb the emotions of others around us. The focus of this post is on those who find themselves overwhelmed by the emotions of others, to the point that it often becomes intertwined with their own emotions.
It is good, and we are certainly encouraged to empathise with others. But, there is a fine line between simply empathising with another person’s state and fully rooting your own emotional identity in their experience.
Moreover, as a Christian, it is a purposeful gift to be able to discern and empathise with the feelings and experiences of others. However, this gift should not become a burden; and a gift only becomes a burden when it is misused. The misuse comes in the ‘saviour-complex’ which some believers often adopt. That urge to try and do what only God can do. The urge to carry a load that really wasn’t meant for you. In fact, a load that the Bible instructs us to cast onto the Lord (Psalm 55:22).
So how do you deal with the overwhelming emotions projected by others around you? How do you ensure that you do not root your emotional identity in the emotions of another person?
Whenever you feel like the above, I encourage you to ask yourself these questions and actually orally vocalise or write down your answer:
1. Acknowledge your current state: How do I feel?
2. Identify the source: Why do I feel this way? Are these feelings mine?
3. Separate your emotions from theirs (cognitive disputing): is it logical for me to feel like this? Is it practical for me to feel like this? Is there any evidence which suggests that I should feel like this?
After asking the questions above, complete these tasks:
1. Reality testing: Replace those faux emotions with the truth. Eg. I feel rejected, but there is no evidence to suggest that I have been rejected. The truth is, I have not been rejected.
2. Intentionality: Always find the source of your emotions. E.g. I feel down because I watched the horrifying news about xyz. Never stop at, ‘I feel down’. Period. You must intentionally find the source and know whether those feelings belong to you or not.
3. Check your environment and guard the gates of your body (ears, eyes, mouth): Is a person, object, social media app, the news or a website overwhelming you with projected emotions? Identify your triggers and guard the gates of your body like a gateman. Know what you can allow in and what needs to be kept at bay.
I hope this helps someone! Let me know if you’ve experienced what I’ve described above and whether some of these strategies are useful.
Love,
K x
Important: if you are experiencing periods of unexplained low moods please seek medical advice by speaking to your General Practioner or a trained therapist.
Share this from @doctorkanayo:
Like this:
Like Loading...
Related
Published by Kanayo Dike-Oduah
Kanayo is a Multi-award winning, Author and Senior leader in education whose experience ranges from being a Deputy Head of Sixth Form, Head of Psychology and Lead Practitioner. Kanayo believes that these 3 elements are the driving force of her ministry and career. D.I.G; Drive, Integrity and Grace.
Having a psychology degree provides me with a broad scope to experience many industries and fields of work. Although, my main aim is to continuously learn and also to share my knowledge and experience with others, within and beyond the constraints of the psychology community. Hence my pursuit to teach!
Hopefully, the readers of this blog will find that it is infested with a scope of psychological knowledge, with the intention of conveying psychology in such a way that it is interesting and understandable to those who aren’t studying it as a discipline. In addition, you will find that I heavily cover various topics aside of psychology such as, Christianity because I am a Christian. I draw both passions together, Psychology and Christianity, observing how they complement and sometimes clash! This blog is where ‘Psychology meets Scripture’.
As well as teaching Psychology, I know God has called me to do something far greater in this world. My passion is for His Word and to encourage others to read the Bible, fall in love with it, but most importantly…fall in love with The Author! My role of teaching is not limited to psychology. I strongly believe God is stirring up the ‘teacher’ office of the Five fold ministry in me.
I’m a doctor by virtue, healing and performing heart surgery with words of encouragement.
I am extremely driven and passionate about getting everyone; both Christians and non-Christians to read, understand and live out the word of God. To achieve this, I’ve created online Bible Challenges, whereby people around the world via social media, read a book in the Bible, one chapter a day and share what they have drawn out from the text. I have numerous Bible challenges, all accessible from my blog (www.doctorkanayo.com) and the YouVersion Bible App where over 250,000 people have completed my devotionals around the world. One Bible Challenge at a time, I aim to change the skewed perceptions of the Bible being irrelevant and to show the true reality that the bible is ‘juicy’, tremendously relevant, fun and easy to read. My one prayer is that my teachings and writings from His word, will touch at least ONE person. That would be a serious mission accomplished to the glory of God!
If you have anything you would like me to blog about, do let me know by either commenting, or contacting me via my contact form.
Thank you for visiting my blog. With love, Kanayo x
View all posts by Kanayo Dike-Oduah
I found this to be timely and helpful in so many ways, personally, professionally and in other social situations. Great stuff🙏🏾
Thank you so much for this!! I needed it so timely and apt. God bless you!
This has been so insightful because this has been something that has been on my mind. This would help me discern a lot more. Thank you for sharing as usual
This has been on my mind recently, separating empathy and my own reality. So insightful, thank you
Good evening Kanayo,
Very absolutely your love and efforts towards regarding fellow in distress.
Absolutely correct. And one must acknowledge that being in grace is a wonderful honour from God, and abide by this favor that comes only from Christ Jesus.
Thank you.