Forgiveness does not excuse the offending behaviour. Forgiveness excuses the offender. The fact that God forgives us of sin, does not make sinning okay. The fact that we forgive someone of their sin towards us, does not make the sin okay.
Hearing ‘I’m sorry’, ‘I messed up’, ‘I feel terrible for what I did’ is like music to our ears. It feels good when someone acknowledges their wrongdoing towards you and oftentimes it makes it much easier to forgive them, right? But what if they never apologise. The reality is that some people will never apologise for their wrongdoing towards you, and waiting on them to apologise before you forgive will cost you your mental freedom. This is why we must LEARN TO FORGIVE, EVEN WITHOUT AN APOLOGY.
The psychology of memory can explain why ‘forgiving and forgetting’ is rarely the case! Our memories are so powerful and a single experience can become entrenched in our long-term memory to the point that it becomes a cue for future expectations.
Remembering an event, a situation, or a person can evoke a shiver of excitement, the heat of anger, or the anguish of grief. Although emotion that is activated by a memory may not be felt as intensely as the actual experience, the recall can be enjoyable or painful nonetheless. Thankfully, the command is to forgive and not necessarily to forget, because let’s face it — it is virtually impossible to forget certain experiences whether good or bad.
This devotional is where ‘psychology meets scripture’ on the topic of forgiveness. Oftentimes, we passively forgive an offender, with a simple ‘I forgive you’, however, the challenge comes when you are reminded of their offence every time you see them. Or when you find it hard to get rid of that negative memory. Sometimes these recurring memories and feelings make you question whether you have really forgiven them or not.
This post is a debrief for those who watched or missed the 'instalive' with the one and only Rev Wonu, founder and leader of Eleuthera Ministry on the topic: Daddy Issues! You can watch the replay via YouTube (videos are embedded at the end of this post). Daddy issues; issues that stem from the physical … Continue reading Daddy Issues – Candid Conversation
While it is very easy to ‘passively’ forgive an offender, with a simple ‘I forgive you’, the challenge comes when you are reminded of their offence every time you see them. Or when you find it hard to get rid of that negative memory. Sometimes these recurring memories and feelings, make you question whether you have really forgiven them or not. So what do we do when we have forgiven but we still remember?
Forgiveness does not excuse the offending behaviour. Forgiveness excuses the offender. The fact that God forgives us of sin, does not make sinning okay. The fact that we forgive someone of their sin towards us, does not make the sin okay. When we forgive, we are saying to that person, you are bigger and better than what you did against me. I choose to see you over the sin.
Can I be real with you? I get angry. Like, emotionally angry and recently it hasn't been towards people that hurt me. My anger has been towards those that have hurt people dear to me. I've subconsciously been dragging this hurt, evil thoughts, hatred, desire for revenge...and honestly, its made me feel numb. I know … Continue reading When They Hurt The Ones You Love
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. - Colossians 3:12-13 (NIV) Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you. - Ephesians 4:32 … Continue reading Call The Fashion Police! What Are YOU Wearing?